Community Marriage Initiative
of
New Hampshire

News Letter

    www.healthyfamiliesnh.org
RESOURCES / ENGAGED

Congratulations on your engagement!

In order to increase your odds of making your marriage to this person - whom you are head over heals in love with - a marriage that lasts a lifetime, we suggest a proactive marriage preparation program.

Here's a suggestion - spend as much time preparing for your marriage as you spend preparing for your wedding!

Why? Here's several reasons: Your wedding lasts only a day - your marriage is meant to last for your lifetime. While everybody enters a marriage "expecting" it to last, over 50% of new marriages end in divorce. Investing time and energy in preparing for your marriage before it starts is the best way to build a strong foundation NOW that will pay off many times in the future.

You've heard the saying "old habits are hard to break". Use this "marriage preparation time" to develop new habits that will serve you both well for years to come.

We believe that the BEST marriage preparation program will include ALL FOUR of the following components: A pre-marriage inventory (such as "PREPARE", "FOCCUS", or "RELATE") that will highlight areas of your relationship that need to be discussed BEFORE wedding bells sound; A course which teaches effective Communication Skills and Conflict Resolution Skills; Application of Biblical principles for your marriage (If the Bible is not part of your faith experience make sure to find some other way to integrate your personal spirituality into your preparation for marriage); A weekend getaway called Engaged Encounter

"All of that?", you may be asking, or "isn't that overkill?", you may be wondering. But wouldn't you agree that you are about to take a step that is literally the most important step you will ever take in your life - embarking on a journey that, statistically speaking, has less than a 50% success rate? With this much at stake (you know, the future of your life...), wouldn't you want to do everything you can to increase your marriage's chances of providing you the life of mutual love that you are entering into it for? Of course you would! So let's do this the right way! This is NOT the time to be cutting corners or taking shortcuts.

And one other thing. Continue to invest in this marriage relationship even after the wedding! Would you buy a new car and then never change the oil? Of course not - you recognize the importance of "preventive maintenance" for your car. The same exact principle applies to your marriage. We strongly suggest that every married couple participate in some sort of structured Marriage Enrichment program every year of their marriage; that's one of the best ways to "keep your love alive". We even have a section on this web site of special programs for Newly Married Couples; check it out either now, or soon after you are married.

For an indepth resource that addresses married and family issues, please visit SmartMarriages.org. The Coalition for Marriage, Family and Couples Education (CMFCE), founded in 1996, is an independent, nonpartisan, non-sectarian organization focused on strengthening marriage and reducing family breakdown, through couple empowering education and information. CMFCE provides consultation at the national, state and community level; sponsors a website, e-newsletter, forum, directory, and the Smart Marriages Conferences-an annual summit of researchers, educators, clinicians, clergy, policy makers, journalists and the public. The conference also trains and certifies marriage and family educators.